Parenting is not an easy job. Some days, it saps every ounce of energy I have until, at the end of the day, I wimpier the petition: "Please, just go to bed."
Parenting is about way more than simply keeping these kids alive or shuttling them to swim team. Being a full-on parent means training them morals, values and respect for others. It means teaching and leading by example the
works of mercy. And, most importantly, encouraging our children to become saints.
This is no small order. And, I've learned through 10+ years of parenting that saintliness is not natural for any of us. It's not like learning to walk or talk.
It's a lot of work.
We have a boy that has really struggled as of late to share his iPod. It is
his iPod, but our motto is, "We share what we have." There have been times when his desire for his iPod is greater than his ability to share with or even acknowledge his siblings. He tunes us out. He focuses on leveling up on this game or passing a difficult level on another.
As a TTM (Totally Together Mom (totally tongue-in-cheek)), I knew there was a battle that I'd have to wage with him regarding his treatment of the iPod. I could see it on the horizon, but I wanted to avoid it. You see, saintliness is something I have yet to achieve (gasp!) and it is just as difficult to inspire and request out of the young men in my household as it is in myself. I wanted to simply avoid The Issue and hoped it would go away.
Well, as life often has it, we went on a short car trip and battled with the iPod and this young man. There was The Issue, staring me in the face. I decided that it was time; time for me to call him to become better. So, the iPod was taken away for the day.
The next day I spoke with the boy. We talked about how difficult it is to share. We talked about the importance of doing it even though it's difficult. Then we talked about our hearts. I told him that Jesus wants to be the King of our hearts. If Jesus is the King, there is no room for something else ahead of Him. When my boy puts his iPod above his love for his brothers, for instance, he was putting it ahead of Jesus, He who asks us to "love one another as I have loved you."
It was then that I realized the importance of facing The Issue head on. The lesson here is not one that any of us will learn once and never struggle with again. It is a continuing struggle for us all. As my boy grows, he will have to keep Jesus first above his desire for material goods, a girlfriend, a career or a large bank account. These things are not bad, in and of themselves, but they become obstacles in the path to holiness when the desire is put ahead of our love for Jesus.
Jesus wants to be the King of our work and play, of our family and friends, of our Sunday mornings and Friday nights. He wants it all. Often, however, we hope to hold on to some earthly treasure and tell Jesus, "You are King of all my heart, except for this tiny piece. This is something I don't want to let go of." A mindset like this is an impediment to holiness and only slows us down. It's like hoping to fly with a ball-and-chain around our ankle. The Saints knew this and that is a main theme throughout all of their lives--this letting go.
After our talk, Nate and I worked out an arrangement to have moderate iPod time each day. However, we let our boy know that his behavior will have to change or the iPod will have to be taken away for an extended period of time. Things are going better, but it is a difficult lesson for anybody to learn. I know we'll have to be diligent with him (and ourselves) to ensure the proper ordering of things in all of our lives. And, when we fall, we'll have to get back up and keep trying. For nothing in this world is worthy of our hearts like He is.
Who is King of my heart today?
